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Discussing Aging Parent’s Needs


As we live longer, adult children can find themselves taking care of their parent and their own children.  If you find yourself in this situation, you may wonder when and how to approach your parent about putting a plan in place.  These discussions involve financial and personal matters, and you may feel reluctant to start. Nonetheless, having them is critical. Here are some of the topics to address.  

Estate and Health Care Planning

If your parent does not yet have an estate plan in place, it is a good idea to get this done.  A good estate plan will also include health care directives. In addition to having these documents in place, discussing values and fears as it deals with health care can make a difference. It is essential to have this conversation because knowing what your parent wants or fears can alleviate stress when you step into the decision-making role.

Health and Medical Checkup

Dive into the details of your parent’s health – current conditions, medications, and anything else appearing on the radar. Encourage regular checkups and get information on their healthcare preferences. After all, staying on top of their well-being is crucial to a healthy financial plan.

Home Sweet Home or New Place

Talk about possible future housing scenarios. Is staying home still doable, or is it time to consider a change? Discuss options like assisted living or independent communities. Remember to talk about home improvements if your parents plan to stay home so you can ensure it is safe. 

Dollars and Sense

It’s time for a money talk. Get the information on their financial situation, savings, and investments. And, let’s not forget the importance of having the right insurance in place for the long haul.

Facing the End of the Road

It is challenging to talk about their end-of-life wishes. Discuss funeral plans and burial or cremation choices. It’s not fun, but having these talks now means fewer headaches later.

Living the Good Life

What’s the plan for staying socially and emotionally fit? Sometimes, adult kids push the parent to move closer, but what the parent wants is to stay right where they are. “I just want to stay close to my church friends,” says a recent widow. But if your parents are not leaving the house, discuss ways to ensure they’re not stuck on the sidelines – a happy retirement is the goal!

Passing Down the Legacy

Find out what they want to pass down and how they want to be remembered.

You may find it easy to start this conversation or be scared. Ms. Boyer’s upcoming book provides prompts for completing all this information and more. You might find it helpful to hand your parent the book and offer to work together to complete it. Remember, these talks are about showing love, understanding their wishes, and navigating the road ahead with wisdom and compassion.